


Too quiet

by floatingaway4



Category: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-01
Updated: 2020-11-01
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:00:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27331576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/floatingaway4/pseuds/floatingaway4
Summary: Alex is spiraling. Henry reels him back in.Set in their first few months living together
Relationships: Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor
Comments: 24
Kudos: 232





	Too quiet

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to poke around at the idea that these are two very different people. Their personalities didn't suddenly change because they moved in together...but they're willing to work at it.

“Is everything okay?” Alex asks, from his spot on the other end of the sofa. He's been looking at his phone, scrolling through Twitter, Henry assumes.

Henry stares at his laptop screen, deep furrows creasing his brow. “Not a good question to ask me while I’m going over my family’s financial statements. We really should divest from-” 

“No,” Alex interrupts. “Are _we_ okay?” 

Henry looks up, startled. “What?” 

“I just wondered if….if you’re happy,” Alex says. And his eyes are so sad that Henry can’t for the life of him figure out what’s going on. He hopes he’s stuck in some nightmare and he’ll wake up in a minute. 

“I...of course I am,” Henry quickly replies. His stomach clenches with fear and he doesn’t want to ask, but he has to. “Aren’t you?” 

“No! I mean, yes! I mean…” Alex stumbles. And the words spill out of him like they’ve been waiting right there for _months_. 

“My parents were good too, or I thought they were. I mean they argued, but I didn’t know anything was really _really_ wrong, until one day I came home and dad had moved out and I didn’t know why and I thought if mom had told dad what he did maybe he could’ve fixed it or if they’d just given it a little more time..." Alex's voice breaks a little. "But I know that’s not true because I know they weren’t really happy until they weren’t together anymore and I know we argue and I don’t actually mind the arguments because we’ve always picked at each other about silly things.”

Alex has to take a breath, which is good because so does Henry. He stares at Alex, trying to make sense of everything he just heard. 

“But when it’s quiet and we’re not arguing and not talking I just remember my parents arguing and arguing...but then they stopped talking to each other and that's when it ended...and I wonder if I’m missing something and I won’t know until it’s too late.” 

One more breath. Alex speeds through the next sentence like a car hitting the accelerator. 

“And I love you so, so much and I’m terrified of ruining this.” 

Henry is still staring. 

“Say something,” Alex presses. 

Henry leans over and puts his laptop on the coffee table, then reaches over to graze Alex’s cheek. “I’m sorry, love, that’s just ...a lot…” Henry wishes he could always take the time to write down what he wants to say to Alex, so he can make sure he gets it exactly right. “I need a second, okay?”

He feels like he should have _known_ this. He should have realized that the Alex who has always thrived on noise and crowds and chaos, who turns on music as soon as he comes home and who likes to grab Henry and make him dance with him in the living room... that _that_ Alex-- _his_ Alex-- might feel insecure when surrounded by silence. 

Henry bites his lip, then dives in. “I’m used to the quiet,” he nods, as though he’s willing Alex to understand. “I spent a lot of time alone in my life.” He licks his lip, sore from where he bit it. “And when I wasn’t alone, and had people all around me, I was still lonely, because none of them really knew me.” Henry rubs his neck, hoping he’s not messing this up too badly. His fingers itch for pen and paper, and his brain itches for the time to craft his words, say what he has to say so he doesn’t make Alex leave, doesn’t end up alone again. 

He takes a deep breath and reaches for Alex's hands. “Alex, when we’re quiet, I feel like it's because we’re just comfortable with each other. I had no idea you were running through worst-case scenarios in your head and I feel like I should have known that.” 

Alex shakes his head. “No, I--”

Henry raises a hand, silently asking Alex to wait. He feels like he’s at the fork in a path, like Robert Frost, and he needs to choose the right way forward. He _really_ wishes he could write all this down first. 

“Alex, all I can do is promise you that I will tell you if I ever feel unhappy. I will never just leave you. If we ever get to that point, which, I don’t think we will, but _if..._ I promise we will see a counselor or do whatever we have to do.” He feels tears running down his face, just at the idea that all of this could end. “But after all it took for us to be together, I’m hardly going to leave if we argue over whose turn it is to take out the garbage.” He squeezes Alex’s hands. “Yes, I’m happy. Yes, we’re good.” He stares into Alex’s eyes, needing to make sure the doubt is gone. He's afraid to ask again, but he has to make sure. “And you’re happy?” 

Alex nods, swipes at his own tears. “I promise, too. You know," he twirls a hand in the air, "all the stuff you said.” Henry would laugh if he wasn't still so anxious. It's like Alex finally ran out of words. 

Henry stands up and tugs Alex’s hands. “C’mere?” 

He moves closer to Alex and lets his body fall forward, hands around Alex's waist, their foreheads touching. 

“Quiet is good?” Alex asks him. 

“Quiet is good,” Henry assures him. “You’re stuck with me, I’m afraid." He kisses Alex on the forehead, inhales and exhales with his face buried in Alex's curls. 

Alex’s thumbs snag Henry’s belt loops and he uses the leverage to lean up for his own kiss. “Okay.” He looks a little embarrassed. “Sorry I freaked out on you.” 

Henry shakes his head. “Don’t apologize, darling. Just tell me when you need reassurance. And I’ll try to remember to give it to you before you ask. Deal?” 

Alex locks his hands behind Henry’s neck and smiles. “Deal.” 


End file.
